COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)

Not far from a Louisiana swamp, ornery old Shugfoot has been living in his mansion for the past five years with the younger (but no spring chicken) Linda, but now he's gotten tired of her, and as she sits still while he throws darts at her, he tells her that he's kicking her out so he can start shacking up with his considerably younger niece, Jonelle (known by most as Baby Doll—yes, think Lolita), now a stripper, who is returning to town after being driven away a few years ago for her wanton behavior. But even though Shugfoot has promised to "take care" of Linda, he's changed his will so Jonelle is in line for his estate. Linda goes to a lawyer and finds that, even though she and Shugfoot never married, they are common-law spouses and he'll have to get a legal divorce, so when Jonelle shows up, Linda sends her away. Jonelle trots her smokin' body down Main Street where she attracts lots of attention and heads off to stay with her sister Brenda, whose husband Jody, the town sheriff, happens to be who Jonelle was caught with years ago when she got booted out of town. Of course, old feelings surface and soon Jonelle and Jody are spending an illicit day together, skinny-dipping and making out, ending up getting a little soused in the back room of the local tavern. When Jody declines to continue their frolic, Jonelle does a striptease in front of the raucous crowd and a fat horny moonshiner named Bull gets all excited, whoops Jody's ass, and carts Jonelle off to his shack in the swamp. When she finds out that Bull makes regular deliveries of moonshine whisky to Shugfoot, she gets Bull to lace one of the bottles with arsenic, the plan being to kill off the old bastard and get his house and money for herself. But Linda has her own plan.

I've been watching a fair number of low-rent flicks lately, but this is about as low as they go. It's actually a mash-up of two batches of footage. The credited director is Eric Sayers, but most of the footage that involves Bull was shot separately by cheapie cult director Larry Buchanan. This footage also has a noticeably different actress playing Jonelle and no one seems to know for sure who's who. Lacey Kelly gets screen and IMDb credit, so I assume she's the main Jonelle, and she, in the words of Bette Davis in ALL ABOUT EVE, looks like she might burn down a plantation, or a bayou mansion—though to be clear, nothing burns here except Jonelle, and she's the main reason to stick with the movie. The other is the ending, which is oddly downbeat for a 60s drive-in exploitation movie. Annabelle Winnick is fine as Linda, and George Edgley is, well, effective as the old slimeball Shugfoot. Max Anderson as Jody does a nice job of seeming constantly befuddled by being caught between two sisters. Bull is uncredited, but frankly all he has to do is look disgusting and that he achieves. The sets are practically cardboard, and the mansion interior is worthy of Ed Wood. Some dialogue, mostly Bull's is awkwardly post-dubbed. There is a grungy, unwholesome feel to this film that actually adds to the viewing experience, even if never builds to the heights that the phrase "backwater soap opera" might engender. Best line is Jonelle to Bull as he indulges in his caveman-like seduction in his poorly lit shack: "A girl can learn a lotta lessons in the dark." (That's Jonelle pictured up right and Jody pictured above) [YouTube]