WHAT THE BUTLER SAW (1950)

The Earl is returning to his home after several years away, having been stationed in the tropics as governor of the Coconut Islands. The servants, happy to have him back, have put up a big "Welcome Home" banner, but stuffy Lady Mary, the Earl's sister, and the even stuffier Gerald, the Earl\'s grandson, think it’s just too vulgar and make them take it down. When the Earl arrives, with his faithful butler Bembridge, he is sad that there is no banner. Right off the bat, we know how the alliances will go here: the relatively down-to-earth Earl and his butler will stand opposed to the sister and the grandson, with Elaine, the pleasant granddaughter, trying to bridge the gap. The Earl tells the family stories of his adventures which they are quite bored by, but one of them involves a native girl named Lapis, daughter of a tribal king, who fell in love with the butler. That night, Bembridge discovers that Lapis packed herself in one of the Earl's trunks and has accompanied them home. He tries to keep her scantily-clad presence secret, but when she is caught taking a bath in the kitchen sink, the secret is out. That night, at a welcome home party, Lapis is introduced to the guests, but she enters the room stark naked, scandalizing and pleasing people in equal measure. When reports reach the Earl that Lapis' father thinks she’s been kidnapped and has started a local war, he realizes something must be done.

This British B-comedy from the pre-horror Hammer studios is fun enough, though the acting and direction are just about par for this kind of lower-budget film. Edward Rigby as the Earl is fine if colorless; Henry Mollison as the butler is a bit better, keeping a stoic face while hinting at hidden depths that might attract the uninhibited Lapis; the most fun seems to be had by the actors playing the villains—Eleanor Hallam as Lady Mary and, especially, Michael Ward as Gerald, whose strained and high-pitched voice is hilariously obnoxious. Mercy Haystead as Lapis is sexy and whimsical but not very exotic, looking looking as pale as the Earl's family. Good support is offered by Peter Burton as a reporter who falls for Elaine, and Tonie MacMillan as Mrs. Thimble, the cook. The dialogue is amusing without really being witty, so its effectiveness is mostly due to the delivery (the strengths of Hallam and Ward). The ending is particularly satisfying. Pictured are Haystead and Mollison. [YouTube]